Friday, December 11, 2009

In order to build, it needs to be done from the ground up...

Well, well...peaks and valleys indeed. I got fired from my job on December 3rd. Yeah a couple days after my last blog entry and three weeks before Christmas...fucking awesome isn't it? I have been at my job, or last job i should say for a hair under eight years ( Dec 11th would have made eight ) and i have seen such a change in not only environment but philosophy.

It used to be a close knit family like workplace with bosses that understood the nature of how important family is. Since then it has changed into a corporation interested in numbers, stats, money..just about all the evils that makes world go 'round. Fall guys, clicks, favoritism, everything you'd expect in corporate america. You would ask whats wrong with that..what's wrong is don't break what working. Don't piss off your loyal employees for the sake of making you look better than you are.

The reason i got terminated ( love the new words people use to sound more important ) was the new, or re-vised or as they say " standing policy that was never enforced ". Attendance. We aren't allowed 2 call ins in a 60 day period. A third results in a suspension, which will put you in a die or come to work scenario where the next call in is automatic termination. Well, two call ins in a sixty day period in the winter is very easy to attain especially with two kids and drama. ( ie separations, dog getting pregnant, car issues and the good ole Central NY weather. ) i got one in June or July for my youngest and being super sick, and one in early August for something car related, anti-freeze i think either way two. Sept twenty something i had one for my know one of those awesome 6 hour "talks " of how shitty of person you are...needless to say i was to drained to go to work...that landed me my suspension. Dec 3rd i had to call in for my oldest as she was throwing up at 3-4 am and she didn't look at all so i was going to take her to urgent care and see what's up with her. Well i called a nurse i'm friends with and explained my situation and she tried to talk to them..her daughter who work there would have worked for me like half a shift but the "policy" states that if i don't get full coverage or at least work the first half, i'd still get a call in..yeah read that a few times over and get back to me. So idid what any parent would have done and it in turn got my fired. Eight years of loyalty for that...nice.

With that off my chest, i'm proud to annouce that my dog Belle ( my xmas present from Trish last year ) had her puppies last night. Seven puppies, yeah seven holy shit!! Good thing i was home for her to help out. It was a fantastic experience.

Notes: I'm 7-5 in season two of the Madden GAF Franchise . I defeated the Panthers last night 28-21. Last season i went 10-6, won the NFL South and moved on to the second round when i upset one of the better Madden players in our league.
This season i overhauled my defensive after started the season 1-4. I think it's worked :)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hello there peak, why hello there valley

Well there followers, once again i get lazy and once again tons of stuff happens. Well not to long after my last post, which was in August Trish and i broke up. It was just hard for us to re-establish things and re-commit to each other and the future of our relationship. It felt like trying to run up a slippery slop. We made strides but just stumble and fall down again.

Regardless of what i wanted, we went ahead and made that choice together. It was rough in the beginning as i felt lost, and just alone...kinda deserted. I made use of the situation to commit myself to the kids and myself. Regain control of responsibilities and feel in control of my life. I did and it felt good. I still felt alone and it sucked but in what i lost i gained so much.

With that said fast forward to now. We have become stronger apart and now willing to be stronger together. It makes me happy especially just in time for Christmas! I have faith things will work out this time around i missed her so much and my family.

Stay tuned!

Friday, August 28, 2009


It's been way to long people. Tons of things have happened like an entire softball season, Yankees are atop of the AL East and video gaming over the summer.

I started a new trandition with my good friends Adam and Stacy and we have been getting together every other Sunday and hanging out and playing games, it started with the release of Ghostbusters for the Xbox 360. We beat it in three sessions each going for like 4-6 hours each, man we had a ball and Ghostbusters is a fantastic game!!! Between the voice work and story to the sound and visuals its one of the best games i have played all year! Since we started playing Bioshock and man it's intense! Scary and sooo moody. The graphics are amazing coupled with fantastic lighting and effects. A problem has arisen, as we are playing Bioshock now, Batman: Arkham Asylum has been released and is poised to replace Bioshock as our "lead" game in our Sunday gaming fest. I'm sure we can give BioShock a couple of hours early and end it with Batman.

The girls are getting big! Destiny is like a young woman already. She is so smart and acutely intuned with life and how it works. She has lost her two front teeth and looks so cute! She is going into the second grade and looking forward to her seventh birthday come November 14th!

Juliana is becoming a toddler, a terrible two stereotype that we all feared! She is sooooo smart, so much in fact that it creates a sense fearlessness than gets her in trouble! She really believes she can do whatever she wants, i guess i know who she is modeled after lol

My relationship with Trish has been a rollercoaster since day one and nothing has changed in that fact. In fact we just announced not to long ago that we were getting married August 28th 2010! Things have been great, more in tune we each others needs and sensitivities its really been such a change. I'm hoping we continue down this path and it leads us to grow in ways never imagined.

In world of awesome, Micheal Vick returned to action last night against the Jags in which he looked decent going 4-4 for 19 yards and a yard rushing, McNabb hated on him in the postgame, oh well welcome to Philly kid.

Softball season ended August 22nd with the Team Harding/Stinkers team losing twice without a win. We ended the season with a 7-12 record. I ended the season with a .433 avg, 6 hrs, 20 rbis not bad at all. I suffered two injuries, one to my left shoulder on a shitty throw to first and runner running through my shoulder and arm, and a strained Achilles trying to avoid running into the first baseman on, yea, a shitty throw to first. looking forward to a great season next year.

Well, thats about it for now, i'll try to keep up with my's just been busy with my NBA 2k leagues, softball, and now Madden :) Love, Peace and Gaming

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

John Locke is my real dad

So here i am. April 1st waiting for my PC to start walking and attacking me....nothing. What a jip. These end of the world viruses never end up being nothing than a panic educed method for anti-virus software companies to get you to buy their shit. Cuase and effect? Maybe. Panic and mayhem? Could be. People just being people? Bingo. Some people can't help the world that controls them. I have always said control is an illusion. You have no control of anything butthe things you can control. Make sense?

I can't make someone love me. I can only control my actions that may infuence this other persons reaction to me. Some might say well, it's a sort of control becuase without you actions they wouldnt have any if the goal is love. Maybe. In the end it woudln't matter. People are wired a certain way and will interpert info how they see fit. Kinda like art. This one peice of art is a masterpeice to some and a disaster to another. To try to fix it so that both people like will end in a constant loop of one hating it and the other liking it. It's broken.

So in this journey of enlightenment and self awareness of fixing myself where do my actions matter in the course of being better for other people? I mentioned being preprogramed in ways of thought and action, funny thing is, so is everyone else. Where does it begin..or even end? If i sacrifice and change and adapt and try to be an art peice that everyone will like what would it matter if person A and B don't do the same? The million dollar question. The answer? It only matters to person YOU. I see now that this isn't so much a journey to fix my habbits and become a better person, friend, husband, father etc, but to be a better me....for me.

I can't change things no more than John Locke can, but i, like him can become one with himself and enjoy the pleasure of no stress. In knowing that the control that is elluding everyone else is a control i would posses within myself.

BTW, LOST is blowing me away. I can't imagine living without this show, same thing i'm sure i said about FRIENDS but i have all ten seasons on DVD so i still have them with me :P Peace out!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The week that was...and wasn't

The ups and downs of life are worse than that creaky old roller coaster that is about to fall off the tracks. I went down to get my family two weeks ago to spend the weekend with us, it was brief but very necessary for my development and the kids spirits. We had a great time, went bowling, just had a great time. My sister came down Tuesday to spend with me during some hard times. We had a blast. Went to the casino and watched her spend 100 bucks in 3 minutes flat lol, i made 160 in that same time but by the end of the night i was down to 47, i bailed!

We went on to watch Watchmen along with my good pals Adam and Stacey, had a great time and ate at Deny's afterward. ( BTW after the Casino deal we tried to go to a Deny's and found the first closed one after dark, WTF ) Watchmen was really good, a different type of super hero movie but not a surprise as it was based on a different type of comic book. I enjoyed it, especially Silk Specterre II, what a babe! Watchmen 8/10 for me-1 point for the abundance of blue wang.

I advanced past the first round in the NBA 2k9 NeoGAF league playoffs. I'm using the Lakers and Kobe had a feast all series long. I play Encal and his Hawks, it played him tough the two games we played during the season but i lost both times. It should be a long hard fought series and i hope to come out on top, i have been playing really good as of late taking Smokey to the brink of defeat when you won on a last second jumper to win the game. Title hopes are still alive.

Well, i am going to end this post today. Things have been going well for me, i will be playing softball coming in May. I'm excited about that. May be going to my first concert in June. No Doubt and Paramore. Should be hot. DCX out!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The glue that binds us: Family

So i decided to go kidnap my mom and sister. Well, Trish helped with the capper but i layed out the plan step by step. They live in my hometown of the Bronx and i'm stuck in the arm pit of New York State. Bridgewater. With the prices of travel i decided to go and pick them up and bring them up here for the weekend and bring them back.

The kids miss them. I miss them and it should be a great way for me to break out of my plan everything same old, same old routines of the past. I'm taking my 6 year old along with me. It will be great to bond with her. She is having a had time dealing with life. Split household and a desire to please everyone even if it means to lie...yeah, she is having a hard time. We have to try to break her of this and love her as much as possible to help her along with this issue. What better way than a road trip to pick up her favorite aunty and her beloved Grandma! Can't wait, a great weekend is to be had!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Day Zero: WTF dude!

So...i turned thirty recently and came to a conclusion. I haven't progressed at all at anything in my life ( other than not progressing ) in the last ten years. Yeah, since i was 20. So lets see, the country has an African American President, The Knicks suck now and Boston won a World Series and i haven't changed one bit.

I do the same thing every day. Same routine. Same check the PC in the AM before work. Check Gaming Age forums, get dressed, go to work, talk the same, flirt the same, everything the same. Same TV habits...Sports and nothing else unless its a movie, yeah you guessed it, i've seen before.

Now how does this happen? How does one not wake up one day and get freaked out ala Neo in the Matrix and want to believe the world has more to offer! What's funny is as i sit here and type this i did become aware of my condition. There would be days where i would just stand in my living room staring at the hundreds of movies and games i own and just not know what to do with my free time, i wanted, or seemed to want to do something new and break this shitty curse...alas i didn't and ended up watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S on DVD from Season one all the way through.

This could be just me complaining and not looking at the bigger picture that allot of people are worst off etc. True. Very true, but get this. I was single for two years after my divorce and lived a single life. For a guy this means, junk food, games/movies and porn. Just about all i did. Big flirt, always have been, but when you're single its more on the surface for obvious reasons. Flash forward to now...i'm in a loving relationship with a great woman that i see spending my days with and i have not changed...yeah, still flirty :( Games and porn...yup, see where i'm going with this. I never adapted to the fact that conditions in my life have changed that i MUST adapt with and i didn't.

Well, crossroads time. I almost lost the love of my life, broke up my family, lost the respect of friends and family and i'm no better of a person from the person who was one year removed from the Sega Dreamcast US launch. It's time, the time to change is now ( i owe Obama 25 cents ) Bear with me, this isn't going to be easy, or be something that can fixed in a day, but i will say this, MySpace=gone, porn=gone...yeah 10GB worth...i'm on the path of sanity, join me :P